I am convinced that two thirds of the events of the Winter Olympics were invented simply to fill the time there. The Summer Games have their share of oddities, but the Winter Games have curling and biathlon. Curling is usually the sport of choice to ridicule as silly, as it's shuffleboard on ice with brooms. But biathlon is amazing. If you don't know, biathlon is a cross-country skiing competition, followed by a target shooting competition. With a gun. So you watch a group of kids in onesies and mirrored sunglasses ski through a snow maze, then drop to the ground to shoot small targets with a rifle, then get up and repeat this procedure. They are the ravings of a madman made manifest. If it were the Summer Games, it would be Michael Phelps with a crossbow. At the Conservatory. But my wife and I watch them and are really into them. On Sunday, during the biathlon finals, we saw a guy mess up the shooting portion, and she said something like, "He's going too slow. He keeps messing up, he'll be too busy doing penalty laps to fix it." I told her, "Fifteen minutes ago you didn't know this sport existed! Who are you?",