I was going crazy. I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. I was always tormented by this feeling of urgency. The worst part was that I knew exactly what it was for and I hated it. It always happened when I had a crush on someone. Or more than one crush. I still didn't know how extreme my feelings were. I waited a month for something to happen. For the feeling of leaving me or for Kaoru to do something to make me hate him. For him to say something about our almost kiss. Nothing, though. He continued as if it had never happened, and inside I was shocked. There was just too much added stress in finally realizing my feelings. I couldn't figure out whether I'd rather never discover them or not. Why didn't he say anything? Why couldn't I forget him? I swore it had to be the worst time. Additionally, I heard that the finalists had been receiving calls over the past two weeks to find out who had received or lost the scholarship. They were asked to keep it a secret so as not to spoil the surprise. I hadn't been called yet. I had no idea if I was the chosen one or one of the rejected, and this only made my anxiety worse. Knowing myself, I realized that I was borderline stressed. One of them needed to go, and from what I could see, my sympathy for Kaoru was only growing stronger since I recognized him. I just wanted you to tell me something about it. Whether he said it was a mistake or that he wished we had actually kissed, I didn't care. I needed to know what he was thinking. I always have to know what's going on in someone's head, otherwise I go crazy. Especially on something like this. This is childish, I thought to myself as I stood outside my classroom building. I couldn't wait any longer, though. I was at my limit. I had to know, otherwise I wouldn't have... middle of paper......I would have been so proud if she had been there. I was going to my dream school for my dream job, and nothing was going to get in my way! Except, I remembered, someone had already done it. I confessed this to Kaoru a few minutes ago, because I thought I hadn't won. I thought I would stay there another year. I didn't know this would happen... If I had, I would have kept my mouth shut. How would he feel if I left before school was even over? Especially since we were finally together. I felt horrible for doing this to him. It wasn't right. I would never see him again after I left. I slowly hung up the phone. The nosy receptionist asked me, “What was that about?” I replied, walking away, “Oh, nothing important.” I left the office and walked to the fountain, sitting on the edge. I knew there was a decision to make. My dream or Kaoru.