An ideal partner comes in all shapes and sizes. We are all looking for something different and we are all willing to go through different things in relationships. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay If you had asked me what I thought an ideal partner would be like years ago, it would have been someone who lets me get my stuff together and supports me. He would be someone I could have fun with and someone who had a good relationship with my family. Sean and I broke up last year for a few months. Was it because there was a lack of support? No, but when your relationship starts to fall apart, it makes sense that you stop bringing positives (like support) into your relationship. I started my first business when I was 15 and when I realized it was a viable source of income, there were people who discouraged me and in the last few years I have had several men (partners and strangers) who discouraged me from pursuing my goal to work for myself. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to have it all. I refuse to choose between career and family. Why can't I have both? The thing that has always struck me, however, is how men look for a strong, independent woman until it means she doesn't rely on him. Once they know it's not up to them, they move on and sometimes they do it in a very toxic way, which is not good. Society still tells us that men must earn their keep and provide for their families. In what world is this set in stone? One thing I appreciated about Sean from the moment we started dating was his support and support of my dreams. Sure, he's not business minded and has no interest in blogging, so there are things he just doesn't understand, but never once because he used this to detract from my vision. I've gone through life, the more I've realized that for me a supportive partner is someone who doesn't live by the construct of gender stereotypes because for me that's where half the problems come. Being a woman, an African woman, and an African woman raised in Western culture, my cultures clash so much when you put them next to each other. In African culture, you normally don't live with a partner until you're married, they don't meet your parents until you're engaged (I have a blog here on how to introduce your non-black boyfriend to African parents), and when you finally live together, the man he normally focuses on his job while the woman has to work, have children to take care of and has to keep the perfect house. That's not me... I have a lot of respect for my culture and my parents, but in the end I think the final say is mine because there aren't many women around me in my position who want a life like I do . For me, having the freedom to choose when and where to work, having the freedom to choose when to have children, and being comfortable enough to know that I can provide for my family while having a spotless home (someday) means doing things differently to most women. Finding a man who feels truly comfortable in a day without being the breadwinner is actually quite a novelty. So, what does a supportive partner look like for me now? He's still someone comfortable enough with himself to let me do myself. It's being with someone strong enough to tell me when I'm wrong because they know I'm stubborn. It's being with someone who appreciates and respects my culture, my family and my goals, but this year, above all, it's been someone who has helped pick me up when I'm mentally at my lowest,someone who hears me (not just listens to me) and someone who reciprocates the energy I give them. A supportive partner is someone who understands that we come from two different families with two different sets of norms and rules, but knows that we can mix the best of both to create a happy, fun, and fulfilling life together. I'm not saying that Sean is some amazing new age man who understands everything because he isn't. Getting him cleaned is a pain, he sucks at money management, he's not always good at expressing his feelings, and he can never find his things. He's a real caster, but he's a caster with a heart of gold and someone I know I could say absolutely anything to without being judged. It would be silly of me to live my life thinking we could both do whatever we want whenever we want because that's not how a relationship works, but one thing I've learned is that it doesn't matter how different you are as people or how different the your goals and dreams, you need to work together and push each other. Last year we weren't together at this time and now we are happier than ever after a very tough year for both of us on a personal level. Don't lose your values ​​and don't settle for bullshit because when you're on the same page, you can work with your partner to achieve anything. This for me might just be Sean cooking and posting my desserts while I get on with other jobs, but it allows me to focus on other things that I appreciate more than I could ever express, so I pay him back by making sure he knows I always have his back .What does an ideal partner look like to you?Evolutionary Psychology and Mate PreferenceDating, the search for a significant other is undoubtedly an important part of almost everyone's life. Since everyone has different tastes and preferences, they tend to look for different personal qualities in a partner. But what leads people to prefer some traits over others? Evolutionary psychologists argue that humans have evolved to value certain traits because of their benefits for procreation and protection. There are many examples of such attributes. However, since I can't speak for everyone, I will define my ideal partner and how his or her personal attributes might be related to culture or evolution. The first thing I look for in a potential dating partner is honesty. Any successful relationship must be based on good communication and mutual trust. Since this cannot happen if a person lies or tends to “omit the truth,” a less than honest partner is not something I would consider. A second extremely important quality is maturity. If I'm looking for a serious and long-lasting relationship and the person I'm thinking of starting it with is immature, doesn't know how to treat people professionally and hasn't accepted the fact that he has to take responsibility for his actions, I definitely won't take him seriously and I won't I will start a relationship with him. Another attribute that an ideal dating partner should have is ambition. If a person has no goals he wants to achieve or dreams he wants to pursue, it means he will not improve his life and is stuck in a dead end. Ambition is what helps a person grow and improve, while staying stuck in one place in life leads to dissatisfaction and depression. Also, since I'm very ambitious myself, a partner who is content with what he has might hold me back. That's why this quality is extremely important to me. It would be hypocritical to deny that good looks play an important role in the beginning of any relationship. This is the attribute that attracts a person and makes everything possible in the first place. Being beautiful or handsome also helps you advance in life, which ties in well with the ambition discussed above.:10.1177/1754073915590288