IndexIntroductionNature of MarriageThe Marriage ProcessPremarital ActivitiesNegotiating Bride Price and Its ImportanceFamily LifeCommunity LifeIntroductionThe Urhobo people of the Niger Delta are an indigenous people of the Nigeria. An estimated 2 million Nigerians are Urhobos. The Urhobo are the fifth most populous ethnic group in the country and the single most populous ethnic group in Delta State. The Urhobo people are concentrated in these cities: Abraka, Effurun, Sapele, Ugheli and Warri. The language of the Urhobo people is called Urhobo (Logaby, 2013). The history of the Urhobo people is generally believed to have begun in Edo territory, now Benin City. It is believed that at the end of the Ogiso dynasty, the Urhobo left the ancient city of Udo, where they were previously located, to move to other territories of peaceful settlements. Urhobo shares a common origin with neighboring tribes: Ndokwa, Kwale, Isoko, Bini, Itsekiri and Ijaw as they all emerged from the same Bini Empire. The Urhobo people, although united, are made up of 22 autonomous kingdoms namely: Evwreni, Idjerhe, Agbon, Ughwerun Avwraka, Eghwu, Okpe, Ephron-oto, Ogor, Agbarha-Ame (Agbassa), Agbarho Okere, Okparabe, Udu, Ughelli, Ughievwen, Arhavwarien, Uvwie, Oghara, Agbarha, Olomu and Orogun. Each of the kingdoms is headed by the king or chief of the clan called Ovie or Okpara-Uku. Although the Urhobo share origin and other similarities with neighboring tribes, they have clearly distinguished themselves in some aspects of culture. This article will address the distinct nature of the Urhobo people regarding marriage, family life and celebrations. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get Original Essay Nature of Marriage Marriage, in general, is the union of a man and a woman, which is socially and morally acceptable in a society. Within Urhobo culture, marriage is seen as a divine and cultural unification not only between the couple, but between two families. Families have an important role in ensuring the success of the relationship in all its phases; from engagement to wedding negotiations up to the actual wedding. Furthermore, the families of the bride and groom are expected to intervene to resolve any problems or conflicts within the marriage (Urhobo People and Culture, 2013). There are different forms of courtship and marriage in Urhobo culture: Esavwijotor Esavwijotor is marriage commitment made by parents when their son or daughter is young. This may be based on established bonds between families, a business alliance, or the special character observed in the child. Marriage is not normally based on love, as it has been promised since the potential spouses were young. However, love can develop once you are married. Ose Ose is an unconventional form of marriage where no dowry has been paid, but the union is still binding. It is similar to the concubine. Couples can reside together or live separately. They have all the marital rights and exclusivity of a true marriage, but limited customary (legal) rights, such as the right to bury and mourn in-laws. (Peter Palmer Ekeh, 2005). Arranged marriage in absentia In this case, a man living abroad commits his family to marry a woman on his behalf. Both potential spouses may not have seen or met at this time. A representative replaces the groom during the wedding ceremony. It may be obligatory for the wife to stay with the potential husband's family for a while, after which she goes to stay with him and live fully as his wife. Love is expected to develop over the course of marriage. In some cases,either partner can reject the marriage and annul it. The Marriage ProcessPre-Wedding ActivitiesThis stage of the process begins with the groom and his family nominating a friend or relative to communicate their interest to the future wife's family. This representative becomes the intermediary between families at all stages of the marriage process. Prior to this, the man's family must have conducted discreet investigations to discover any unwanted hereditary diseases or any intolerable traits or behaviors exhibited by his mother. Many among the Uhrobo believe that a mother's behavior can indicate her daughter's future behavior in her marital home (Edevbie, no date). Once the man's family is satisfied, the representative formally approaches the girl's parents to officially declare the man's interest in marrying her. Typically, the man's family sends gifts to the woman's parents to increase the chances that they will treat the request favorably. Usually the answer is not given at that moment, but after the intermediary returns several times. During this period, the girl's side has the opportunity to conduct their own investigations about the future in-laws and also discuss the proposal in the family. If the results are good, the proposal is accepted and the message is conveyed to the man and his family through the intermediary (Edevbie, undated). Bride Price Negotiation and Its ImportanceThe prospective husband and his family visit the bride's family several times to negotiate some marriage prerequisites set by the bride's family, especially the bride price. The bride's compensation does not only consist of money, but also includes other symbolic gifts in the form of kola nuts, bitter kola, honey and gin or palm wine. Paying the bride's share in traditional Urhobo marriage serves many purposes. It secures and legitimizes a woman's place in the home and society, as she is now a married woman and of higher status than before. Approves and authorizes traditional Urhobo marriage. living arrangement of a woman who resides in her husband's home. Legitimizes the place or role of children in the family. Children whose fathers have neglected to pay the bride's wages are considered emọrọse (children born out of wedlock) and suffer discrimination both within the family and from society. Paying the bride's fee reminds the husband to love his wife and treat her with respect. It is a sign that the bride's family approves of her marriage. Thus, the bride enters the marriage with the certainty that she can count on the support of her family if she ever needs it. Although the bride's fee in each region is already known, negotiating the bride's fee is complex. Those involved tend to speak indirectly, using Urhobo proverbs and idioms to instruct or make requests. During the negotiation, the bride's side tends to ask for more money, emphasizing the daughter's virtues and superior qualities. The other party tries to reduce the price by asking for compassion, considering all previous efforts. The bride's family usually responds favorably, as long as the rate does not fall below local standards. This negotiation can last for a long time until both parties get tired and choose to reach an agreeable agreement. The wedding ceremony: payment of the bride price and delivery of the bride On the day of the ceremony, the groom's family will show up at the bride's house. The bride's family will offer them drinks, kola nuts and money, according to Urhobo tradition. After this preliminary entertainment, guests are asked the reason for their visit. The guests declare that theyhaving come with the intention of marrying the bride for their son. If the bride's family accepts this proposal, they follow the process of identifying the bride they wish to marry. The bride's family will parade around four girls in front of the groom, who will reject them all. The groom's family was supposed to pay money to the rejected girls. Afterwards, the bride is introduced to the groom to verify the real identity of his intended bride. After being identified, the bride is asked if she wants to marry the man. The bride's family can receive the bride's compensation only if she agrees. Then, the groom or his family pays the bride's share to the bride's family, and upon acceptance, the bride's father pours a libation to the gods and ancestors. “The libation is poured using a local gin (ogogoro) or may feature Gordon gin and kola nuts.” The head of the family recites a prayer "in a spirit of ẹkpẹvwẹ (thanksgiving) to God and in remembrance of the ancestors, inviting him to bless the marriage. He invokes the five themes traditionally used in Urhobo prayers, namely ufuoma (peace), omakpokpọ (good health), emọ (children), efe (wealth) and otọvwe (long life)”. The bride then sits on her husband's lap and gives it to her husband wife who also drinks and returns it to him to finish, as a sign of respect, they are declared husband and wife and both families shower the couple with money is the last stage of a complete marriage according to Urhobo custom. It is the bride's offer of marriage to the groom's family. After the wedding ceremony, both families meet to arrange a date for the bride to move to her husband's house and the groom's friends wait to welcome her new one wife They perform a special ceremony to also invite the husband's ancestors to accept her and bind her to her husband. There is a marital blessing during which parents and older family members pray and bless the bride and her marriage. The celebrations to celebrate the bride's arrival will continue all night and into the next morning. When the traditional Urhobo wedding is compared with today's Urhobo wedding, some differences emerge. These differences can be attributed to the influence of Western culture or society's evolving values. Boy-Girl Courtship This is the most commonly used courtship process in modern marriages, as opposed to the traditional processes listed above. In some cases, parents may not be aware of the initial courtship and may not be involved at all until their son or daughter informs them. Both families then become involved and plans for the wedding are initiated. Modern Marriage Process Most modern marriages still retain some aspects of traditional marriage rites, in addition to the church ceremony and registry. Family Involvement From the courtship stage to the wedding ceremony to the couple's post-marital life, traditional marriage is all about families. Traditional marriage encourages family intervention or mediation, which has been shown to reduce the chances of divorce or separation, but family intervention in contemporary marriages is seen as interference. The wedding is between the bride and groom, so families do not have to be actively involved. The basis of traditional marriage is wealth, prestige and children. Love, whether it comes later or not, is not at the forefront. On the other hand, Western influence has promoted the idea that marriage cannot work without love, making couplesintend to see and love each other before and during the wedding. In modern marriage, people get married because they are in love. Monogamy Traditional Urhobo marriage is polygamous in nature. It allows the husband to marry as many wives as he can afford. However, polygamy has disappeared in modern times, due to the prevalence of love-based marriages and the social taboos associated with them. The modern Urhobo marriage is monogamous. “Monogamous marriage consists in the exchange of mutual vows by the couple to the exclusion of other women.” Traditionally, a double standard exists among the Urhobo, whose gods punish women who commit adultery while men are spared. The husband can marry as many wives or have as many affairs as he wants without punishment, while a married woman dares not allow her hand to be held by another man. “Usually, Eri/Erivwi (the spirit of the ancestors) will attack the woman with some disease and even kill her husband and children until she confesses or an oracle reveals it. Atonement is based on a strongly held Urhobo belief that those who have defiled their ancestors need purification to avoid their wrath. The woman is stigmatized for the rest of her life and is forced to sacrifice a goat to please the deity and to ritually purify her before she can continue her marriage if the man does not send her.” Within a modern marriage, adultery is always wrong, regardless of who commits it. However, modern Nigerian society still retains much of its patriarchal ideals, and therefore, even in modern society the condemnation of adultery is even more severe for women. In modern marriage, women are given property rights upon the death of their husbands. , giving them the necessary support. This system recognizes the contribution of women to the creation and management of the family home. You are also granted your spouse's pension rights. Modern Urhobo women now have both forms of traditional marriage and Western marriage, which excludes polygamy. Financial independence from husbands, as a result of better education, freedom and less tolerance, has led to an increased level of divorce. Women are now more aware of their legal rights in marriage and more often exercise those rights, for example a woman can now evict her husband on the grounds of domestic violence. Based on the implications of the above differences between traditional and modern Urhobo marriage, some aspects of traditional marriage should be retained as part of the cultural heritage, while other aspects should be discarded. Aspects of cultural marriage that are valued and should be maintained are family involvement in the wedding and the concept of joint celebrations between family, friends and villages. On the other hand, some elements of traditional marriage should be discarded. Polygamy and its effects on women in society should continue to become extinct. The suppressed rights of women during courtship, marriage and within marriage should also be maintained. Another aspect to discard is the concept of Omot'ohwofa. Its literal meaning is "a girl is another person". But connotatively, it means that it is a waste of money to educate the female child, because she would eventually get married, change her maiden name, and join her husband's family. So even if she is your daughter, she is just “another person” (ohwofa). Traditional marriage is a union of two families, clans and even villages. This trend towards communal living can be an avenue for promoting unity within Nigeria. The marriage between.